We have had three days 
of unexpected rain.

Very nice.

I really do not have anything in particular to say,
at the moment,
as I am just sitting here at 8:45 a.m.
waiting for our local Fry's Electronics store to open
at 10 a.m. so that I may buy a 50' CAT6 cable
for another internet hookup.

Have been cleaning non-stop for past several weeks.

Moving numerous heavy boxes to storage,
seven miles away from here.

Am making a final "heroic" effort
to get my workspace cleaned up
so that I may continue production.

Am heading up north tomorrow.

Looks like will be a short turnaround for me,
because I have to get back to Ventura on Monday,
in order to take care of business,
before I am able to take a much needed break
up at my favorite pulloff near San Simeon,
later in the week.

Have been walking 4 to 4 1/2 miles
on the beach every evening.

Getting stiffer and stiffer each day
as I am working my way up to the 5 mile mark.

Left rib cage is still very messed up, 
but is improving little by little.

I can finally bend and turn
in ways which were just too painful,
previously.

As an aside,
my neck continues to be really stiff
from the huge speaker which fell on my head
about one year ago.

That was really weird,
and was another close brush with death.

I was walking across the room
when an entire bookcase
just suddenly collapsed,
for no obvious reason.

On the very top was a huge speaker box,
weighing about 50 pounds,
which had been there for many years.

Yes, it landed squarely,
right on top of my head.

As I saw it coming at me
I thought that it would kill me for sure
if it hit me solidly.

Or, at least knock me out.

You cannot begin to imagine how shocked I was
as it hit me really hard
right on top of the head
and then just bounced off of me.

I didn't even see stars
or get knocked out,
although I did have a bad headache
for several days.

I waited for the intercranial bleed
which I just knew had to be coming,
soon enough,
but it never did happen,
that I know of.

However,
my neck has never been the same.

I cannot turn fully to the left
without a great deal of pain,
or to the right
without a moderate amount of pain.

I repeatedly stretch it every day,
in an attempt to regain a full range of motion,
but is very painful to do.

Makes it hard
when you try to look over your shoulder
before changing lanes,
while driving.

Somebody
(or something)
is most definitely
trying to kill me
(this is hardly the first
of these types of experiences for me),
but somebody
(or something) else
is seeing to it that this doesn't happen.

I am not celebrating, just yet,
wondering just exactly what it is
that I am being saved for.

I just hope it is very good,
instead of very baaaaaaaad.

One can only wonder.

In the meantime
I have been taking stock
of all that I have been able to do
with this gift of life
which has so generously been granted to me,
over and over.

A lot of people did quite well
during this past year,
thanks to the fact that I am still alive.

Many person got to eat
or do many other things
which just weren't going to happen
without my crossing paths with them.

While I am certainly not one
to be overly concerned
about "being alive",
as in
"I almost died,
and am so lucky to be alive"
(NOT!),
nevertheless,
I am daily reminded
of that famous Jimmy Stewart movie
where he is shown
what would have happened if
he had not been alive
to help numerous people.

For that I am very thankful.

It just brings it home so hard to me,
that it is not about us,
but about how we serve others,
which really counts,
in the final analysis.

I have told numerous people
that I had no desire
to come back from the dead,
at all,
and am ready to move on
at any time God so chooses.

To which they all reply
that THEY sure are glad that I am alive,
for their own sakes.

Yes,
"to love and to be loved".

Isn't that really what it is all about,
anyway?

I am beginning to think so,
more and more,
as each day passes.

Which reminds me,
what do you suppose a lifelong
and very chronic insomniac does
when living with someone
who has long periods of sleep apnea?

As in altogether stopping breathing
for hours at a time,
while looking more and more dead,
until I am finally getting up
to call the coroner,
being convinced
that life has left the body..
(remembering that I used
to "pronounce death" 
on a nearly daily basis
for years,
so that I know very well
what to look for). 

This is but one more,
of several  
"swords of Damocles"
which are being held over my head,
continuously.

It has made an already very difficult existence
even more difficult.

i keep wondering how long
before I am going to just fall over dead,
yet once again.



In the meantime,
I am eager to get back to composing.

Hope something really good comes out of all of this.

Hoping all is well for all who read this.

If not, know that I am with you in spirit 24/7.

Here's to a journey to Dogubeyazit
[that is the corrected modern English
(transliterated)
spelling,
as I got it out of a number
of most recently published tour guides .

Agri Dagh is calling me very loudly.

I can only wonder why.

I hope to answer the call very soon.

I am told that I should just sneak off
for a week or two
during this Spring,
in order to make contact
with some people who are the only
English-speaking hoteliers
in the region,
for a "recon" mission.

I stood by a sign, just several months ago,
which read Izmir, 30 km.

For those who do not have reason to know,
Izmir is ancient Smyrna,
of which you will read
in the Book of Revelation.

I cannot get the image out of my head
as the road cries out to me
to "come and see".

Hmmmmm, I wonder to myself.


w/abundant and abiding love
(in the most sacrifical sense of the word)

vw
Saturday
1-26-13
Ventura, California, USA