The first thing I simply must say is WTF?

My life has been extra strange by any standard/s.

But this?

This most definitely takes the cake.

Message, after message, after message
from "on high",
but who can understand even one of them?

New assignment:  do this and do that.

But why?

Long silence.

Uhhhhh, I don't get to know why?

 More long silence.

Wrong thing for student to say to Master?

Yeeeeeeeesss!

You will know when you need to know
and not one nanosecond sooner.

I already knew the answer,
having been told this too many times to count.

It is this: 
when you are living "in the moment" to the max,
there is no past or future.

Everything outside the moment
simply does not exist,
at least for that moment.

No need to know 
= nothing but distractions
right when you need TOTAL focus.

Head filled with far too much clutter,
already,
anyways.

So, with those operational guidelines
now well established
what do you think is coming next?

How about this,
"Because you are a highly skilled 'Ninja Ranger',
go locate person XYZ
and give them this very extravegant gift,
from me".

Didn't sound so hard,
at first.

"No, problem,
consider it done",
I somehow remember myself saying.

Oh, but you have no idea, whatsoever,
how many "No"s and "whaaaat, I'm not going to do THAT?"
have come out of my mouth
and mind
since that time.

"Oh, did I fail to mention to you
that this is going to be anything
but smooth and easy?,
oh Sisyphus?"

"Uhhhhh, no,
somehow you seem to have
'forgotten'
to mention that."

"You know I do not forget."

"Oh, how wonderful,
then this must be another one of those
great plans
designed to do little more
than disrupt my quiet,
meditative,
contemplative
style of life."

No answer.

Oh, oh.

Does that mean I am correct,
or incorrect.?

Will I ever get to know?
Or will I ever even get to know
whether I will ever get to know?

No answers.

Just DOPPELGANGERS by the carload
for days on end.

This week,
it turns out,
Mustangs are VERY popular,
and silver one's in particular.

More on that in just a moment.

As any who are following along will know,
some strange sightings were reported
several weeks ago,
regarding just such a silver Mustang,
or a car looking like one.

So, if you think you know
where I am going with this,
stop for just one moment and consider ---

Did I say "ONE" sillver Mustang?

No, lot's more than just one.

And that all in a row.

And that followed by over 50 of them
in all different colors
on the several hour return trip yesterday.

I have driven one of these very same cars
for weeks at a time (rental car),
and am, therefore,
highly aware of their presence.

There are NEVER this many,
or anything even remotely close to it.

Now you are beginning to get the idea
of why I said WTF.

Let me get this straight,
my instructions are to watch
for a certain vehicle
as the streets begin to fill up
with this very type of vehicle,
out of nowhere.

And as several other exact ones,
complete with requisite Doppelgangers
suddenly appear on the road,
as if out of nowhere.

Now, I am quite used to cosmic humor,
having been the recipient/victim of it
on numerous occasions.

But this?

What can the meaning possibly be?

I am simply unable
to find any appropriate
frame of reference
for such a matter.

I was so freaked out by what I saw
during the past 72 hours
that I wrote some rather detailed
and copious
notes.

It was only after writing out
what I had seen during the past 48 hours
that I began to fully realize
just how strange all of this really is.

So, what could have and should have
taken a letter or two to complete
has now turned into nearly
one and one-half years
of deceit upon deceit upon deceit,
all designed to see to it that the mission
remains incompleted.

Now anyone who knows me well
knows just how unacceptable that is to me.

I am not used to NOT getting the job done.

And that always with God on my side, if you will.

That is to say,
I always insist on the highest moral standards.

As if you will be standing at the judgment seat
in a few hours from now.

This makes it extra strange,
as the Lord above has parted many Red Seas
for me during my short evil existence.

This is how you know
that he is actually leading you.

You have to get used to seeing many "impossible" things
happen around you
and to you.

But, in the end,
it is ALWAYS for the purpose of a lesson,
for which you are now greatly enriched
and glad to have gone through all of the trouble
and hassle,
in spite of all.

This keeps me ridiculously optimistic,
pretty much no matter
what is going on
at any particular time.

It has served me very well during my life,
and I certainly have no intention
of changing to be any other way.

Now, that is a GOOD feeling!

I can get shaken just as much as anyone,
and probably much moreso.

But, I know, through it all,
that I have a very good and steadfast friend
who is able to make anything happen
that needs to
when it is needed

(and that not one second sooner,
i.e. no "planning" allowed).

I am only telling all of this in order
to put the rather strange facts 
which I have been asserting
into their proper context.

You might say
that I see things
from a little different perspective
than others
who have not
been through
multiple
near-death experiences.

For it is not until you are
fully in the jaws of death
that you have any kind of clue
to what is going on all around you.

And it is not until
you have been miraculously taken
out of those jaws
that you can begin to get life balance
and knowledge of truth.

And what a pathetic
and sad sight
it is that you are looking at
once your eyes are truly opened,
from above.

A pack of wild dogs
fighting over a dry old bone
with no meat or marrow remaining,
yet ready to kill one another
right here and now,
as a matter of irreparable nature.

And there it is.

And then I am asked
to get into the middle of the dog fight
to break it up
with nothing more than my bare fists.

You can only imagine
how much complaining
and refusals to act
or even listen
must take place inside my head.

But time has proven God right,
on so many occasions,
that I long ago learned
to just shut up and watch.


Show up.

Keep up.

And shut up.


Isn't that the formula
for ultimate success,
anyway?



As you can see,
I am in a little bit more
introspective writing mood
than is usual during these past months.

I am still trying to sort this all out.

Have much more to say,
but must get going
(as usual?).

I didn't even wake up until 1 p.m.

I told you I was really thrashed.

And am.

But, we will "just keep on trucking" ---

Pretty much because
I don't know any other way
and don't want to.

Full speed ahead.

And damn all the mines and torpedoes.


w/incomprehensible love

vw


5-7-13
Tuesday
2:20 p.m.
Ventura, California, USA